


Heavy

by Greet



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Ear injury, Hurt Minghao, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, One Shot, SEVENTEEN are exhausted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 04:46:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14253315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greet/pseuds/Greet
Summary: Xu Minghao could never bring himself to complain, especially when his members were just as tired as he was.





	Heavy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mainvocalrocky (infinityxu)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinityxu/gifts).



> This is a gift for my friend, Lena! We traded short whump one shots. It's short and shitty, so I apologize, and the first time I've ever wrote for SEVENTEEN.

Minghao wasn’t one to complain when he felt ill or sore. He understood that the other twelve members were just as exhausted, especially after the touch week of constant stages and live performances. His legs ached, and his throat was sore, but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything: not after Jihoon almost collapsed from exhaustion and dehydration, and now that Jisoo was fostering a sprained ankle. There was far too much going on for his hyungs- namely Seungcheol- to handle, so he kept his complains buried deep in his chest.

Afterall, once the stages ended at the end of the week, they’d have a few days to recover and rest before they would get back to rehearsals, songwriting, and recording again. Minghao always liked the relaxing times, where they laid back and had fun, where they weren’t so stressed and strung out. It hurt him to see everybody so stressed and tired, that he’d go out of his way to poke them in the side or sling an arm around their shoulder in a silent yet notable effort to cheer them up. 

That evening, they had a performance scheduled for Mnet Countdown. Minghao glanced nervously at the members as they scrambled around to finish the last of their hair and makeup before going out to perform. The stage staff surrounded them, barking order that Minghao didn’t necessarily pay attention to as they hooked up each member with a microphone and in-ear pieces. He personally despised them as he wanted to hear more of the fanchants and less of his own shaky breathing ricocheting back into his ear, but he didn’t have to strength nor the authority to complain.

“Alright, boys,” Seungcheol called as the staff flooded from the room, grasping Jeonghan and Jisoo by the napes of their necks as he started to huddle them in the middle of the room. “Just like always, let’s kill it. Nothing to be nervous about.”

Minghao noticed Seungkwan buzzing his lips, his left leg shaking up and down rapidly like the flap of a hummingbird’s wings. He was always one of the most nervous members before going on stage, and Minghao somehow found it endearing. He flickered his gaze away from Seungkwan to glance back to Seungcheol who met his eyes with a nod. “We gotta get going.”

He trailed behind as the boys poured from the room, Hansol and Seokmin creating a racket up front as Minghao himself stayed a few paces behind the group. Jisoo walked beside him, his step still unsteady and slow as he recovered from his ankle injury. He flinched in surprise when Jisoo slung his arm over his shoulder and practically pulled him into his side. 

“You look tired,” he mumbled. “I know you’ve been working hard. Just a few more shows, and we’ll be able to relax, okay?”

 

Minghao blinked at the elder, his heart constricting in his chest. “Hyung, I should be the one saying that to you. Your ankle…”

“It’s just a sprain. Plus, it’s nothing I can’t handle,” he shrugged off, flashing Minghao a confident yet soft smile. “Don’t overwork yourself. We need you out there.”

He offered a small laugh and shrugged Jisoo’s arm off of his shoulder. “Okay, you sap, get offa me.” He smiled as Jisoo laughed with him, the two following the crowd as they made their way to the stage where they could already hear the fans screaming in anticipation for the recording. 

Minghao couldn’t deny the fluttering of butterflies he always got before getting on stage. His gut would twist up and seize, and for a brief moment he felt like a trainee all over again- clueless and mute, but Jisoo’s hand on his lower back leading him onto stage through the dim lights tethered him back into reality. He had a show to put on.

He should’ve realized something was wrong with his earpiece when the woman had hooked it up. It pricked uncomfortably at his ear, the fit completely wrong. The left side of his face already felt sore, the earpiece a chunk of plastic digging into his skin. He also noticed it barely stayed in as he began to dance, the plastic shifting every movement so Minghao would have to shove it back in when he ducked behind another member in a move. 

The music began to fluctuate in his ear, and he stepped off beat. Everything seemed to stop. Instead of Thanks, all Minghao could hear was intense, high-pitched screeching that increased in frequency each passing minute. He could barely keep up with the choreography, bending over behind Hansol as he picked at his ear, trying to dig the damn plastic out before he went deaf. He let the piece dangle by its thin black cord for the rest of the dance, his ear aching and throbbing as the faint music playing aloud simply sounded like white noise, his ears ringing each time he jerked his head.

It was excruciating, the pain rippling from his ear canal to his head, his entire forehead and left temple exploding in massive agony as the ringing never stopped, even as the song ceased, and especially as the fans’ screams overtook any other noise. He bent his head down, eyes scrunched shut as he focused on steadying his breath and staying in his ending pose until the lights dimmed. He felt a broad hand graze his lower back, but he did not lift his head, his ear throbbing, something warm trickling down the back of his neck. 

Before the lights even went out, there were hands on his shoulder, pushing him off the stage before anyone else started to pile off. His legs gave out beneath him, but the arms behind him were already tucked in his armpits, hoisting him up until he felt his back pressed against the wall. He opened his eyes, surprised to see Jisoo, forehead glittering with sweat, crouched in front of him. His lips were moving frantically, his hand reaching up to brush his fingers over the left side of his face, but Minghao couldn’t hear what he was saying- the ringing was too loud.

Disembodied hands pulled Jisoo away harshly, much to Minghao’s shock, and his face was replaced with the concerned yet steely expressions of numerous staff members. He didn’t want to see them right now; he wanted to see his brothers, but he couldn’t understand why everyone around him was so muffled, and why the ringing in his ear was so incredibly loud. The female staff member before him leaned close to him, her hands fluttering to the side of his face were she pressed a cloth- up against his sore ear. His heart jolted in his chest when the folded white cloth came up red, but he didn’t have more than a second to ponder over it before there were new faces in front of him, and someone was pulling him up by the arm.  
He caught a glimpse of Seungcheol beside him, his face pale and contorted, staring at Minghao with an indiscernible expression of stress and worry. It made Minghao’s stomach twist in guilt. He didn’t want to make his hyungs any more stressed then they were. It definitely wasn’t fair to him, and it wasn’t like he was as injured or exhausted as the rest of them. But why wouldn’t the ringing stop?”

In an unwilling blur of movement and muffled shouts, Minghao looked around to find the green room where they prepared before. The ghost hands holding him from behind were lying him down on the plush white sofa in the room, something cool pressed to the side of his face. Minghao’s hand fluttered up to press the ice pack to his ear, a light groan stirring from his lips. It felt undeniably good for the coolness to numb the pain in his ear, and the more time he stayed there, breathing, the more the ringing subsided.

“Can you hear me?”

He stirred, opening his eyes and lifting his head an inch at the voice. His manager, Jeonghan sitting beside him, was hovered at the side of the couch. They were both staring at Minghao with such intensity that he squirmed against the couch cushion. “Yeah...What is it?”

“Your in-earpiece malfunctioned on stage,” the manager whispered. “Your left ear was bleeding bad.”

“You completely missed this step,” Jeonghan added, cheeks flushed and words flustered. “And we all got worried, and Jisoo said he could hear the screeching from your microphone. We thought something terrible happened-”

Minghao’s heart plummeted into his stomach. He made a mistake on stage in front of everyone- his fans and his brothers- and there was nothing he could do to fix it now. If only he had sucked up the pain, he could’ve worked through it and finished the performance on a decent note. He was ashamed, unable to even meet Jeonghan and the manager in the eye as he glanced around the room. Jisoo and Hansol stood in the doorway, like bouncers, whispering amongst each other without glancing back at him, which he was grateful for. The others were more hurt than him- yet here he was cringing and whining over a simple technical malfunction. The ringing and pain both started to go down, so he would be fine. He didn’t need to be worrying anybody. 

“I’m fine, Jeonghan-hyung,” he assured, pushing himself to sit upright. “Really. I’m feeling much better.”

The manager reached out, pulling the ice pack away from Minghao’s ear to take a closer look. “It’s not bleeding anymore… You sure you can hear fine?”

Minghao hesitated a moment, but nothing seemed particularly wrong. His ear ached, and it barely sounded a if he was speaking underwater, but he figured it would go away in time. He would just have to sleep on it, give his ear a rest.

“I’m positive,” he assured with a shaky, insincere smile that the manager seemed to accept. 

He faced his members an hour later with a bowed head and apologies bursting from his lips that the rest of them quickly shushed. They asked him if he was okay, which he earnestly replied that he was, and he didn’t fail to notice how Wonwoo, Seungkwan, and Jisoo wouldn’t leave him alone for a minute until they returned home, their conversation quiet but excited, trying to bait Minghao into laughing along with them.

He could tell his ‘injury’ made them uncomfortable, and he felt nothing but guilt for ruining a live stage like he did. The fans would ridicule him, lash out in anger for ruining the song that received so much positive feedback. He grew paranoid in that short car ride that the members would become resentful, but his mind was slightly eased by the way Seungcheol would shoot down every attempt he made at apologizing. At least they weren’t too angry with him.

Jeonghan escorted him to his room after they ate dinner, which mostly consisted of Seungkwan and Hansol screaming over rice and cup noodles and Minghao picking at his food. No one questioned him on his incident, save for Jisoo who pulled him aside privately to ask him if he was okay, and he said he was.

He slipped in his room before the others. His head hurt far too much to stay up and watch the movie with them, and they didn’t argue which he was grateful for. He slumped onto his bed, arm draped across his forehead as he tried to drown out the pain slowly beginning to build in his left eardrum. The pain began to return with full force as if the incident had just happened, and Minghao curled up on the mattress with a hand pressed to his ear and a dying whimper on his lips. If he could just sleep, it would be gone by morning.

But he hardly did sleep, tossing and turning, twisting his sheets between his legs as he struggled to suppress the pain building to a crescendo in his ear. The ringing had returned, constant and dull: enough to drive him crazy. He contemplated rolling out of bed in the middle of the night and finding some medicine, but he was afraid someone would hear him, and he didn't want to be any more of a bother than he already was. He’d rather die and take all of his pride with him. It was just an earache. 

He started to think that perhaps it wasn’t just an earache when he noticed the sun rising through the curtains. He could already hear the other members shuffling awake and getting ready to start the day. They had a packed schedule of shows and meeting that day, and he was sure that he wouldn’t have much of a moment’s peace for his ear pain to go down.

Instead, he hid in bed as long as he could, until Seungcheol came knocking at the door, poking his head through with his head tilted. “Minghao,” he chirped. “We gotta get ready to go. Come on.”

He didn’t stay for long, letting the door softly click shut behind him as he heard Minghao stir in bed. He barely had the strength to get himself out of bed, his head pounding and ear searing in agony with each shift of his head, as if his entire sense of balance was slipping out from beneath him. 

 

He was glad that Mingyu was no longer in the room, or else he’d have serious concerns with how Minghao was crouched over, hands clamped over his ear as he struggled to regain his balance. Everything hurt, and he wanted nothing more than to cry and give up, the pain wearing him down over the past few hours that he felt like it was worth exposing himself to the members if it meant just an hour or so of rest. But he couldn’t- he wouldn’t disappoint them again. 

He slipped from the room once he was dressed, his head hung and throat dry. The members were gathered in the kitchen and living room, no one turning a head to acknowledge him as he staggered into the kitchen. He walked to the counter and grabbed an apple, lifting the fruit to his lips with an exhausted sigh. 

“Minghao, you okay?”

He turned, apple still at his lips to see Mingyu sitting at the table behind him, spoon of cereal shoved in his cheek. His eyes were wide when he looked at the latter. “I’m fine,” he assured his roommate.

“Does your ear still hurt?” Jisoo chirped from the living room, hooking his arm around the back of the couch to glance back at Minghao. “If it does-”

Minghao turned too quickly to look at Jisoo. “I’m fine-” he snapped. “Really. Just tired.”

This seemed to work, Jisoo’s face falling in dejection as he turned back to his phone, features crestfallen. Mingyu also went back to his cereal, shoveling bite after bite into his mouth after Seungcheol called that they only had a few minutes before they had to go. He didn’t mean to lose his temper so easily, he just couldn’t take all the noise that came with twelve rowdy boys living in the same space. His ear hurt beyond his belief, and he was close to breaking down.

The schedule was nearly impossible to get through. Minghao refused to put another headphone or earpiece in for the whole day, claiming that he was a little sore, which was a massive understatement. Each time Hansol, Seungkwan, or Seokmin would shout a little too loudly, he would wince and cower his head. He also struggled to hear when people addressed him, his injured ear turned to them. 

They were sitting in the green room of yet another music show when suddenly Jisoo appeared in front of him, eyebrows scrunched and a light frown tugging at his features. “Earth to Minghao?” He was waving his hand in front of his eyes.

Minghao flinched, blinking at Jisoo with a guilt-ridden expression. He hadn’t heard him trying to speak to him, and it scared him how spacey he became as the day dragged on, and he couldn’t decipher whether it was the pain or something worse happened to his ear than he thought. 

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

 

Jisoo blinked. “I was just asking what was wrong? You keep wincing.”

Minghao swallowed a thick lump in his throat. Was he that obvious? “Nothing, I’m fine.” He just prayed to God that Jisoo bought it. He couldn’t take an interrogation right now. 

That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to get one. “It’s your ear isn’t it?”

Minghao shook his head, but even that simple movement was enough to make a wince ripple across his face. The pain was intense and throbbing. 

“It’s okay, you know,” Jisoo muttered, glancing over his shoulder before leaning in close to Minghao. “What happened yesterday was scary, and it’s okay to admit you’re still in pain. I know I would. You don’t have to worry about disappointing us. We just want you to be healthy and happy.”

Though he knew this the whole time, Minghao felt touched by the attention Jisoo offered him, but it didn’t ease the guilt and anxiety rippling through his chest with every second the pain on the left side of his face didn’t subside. “It just...aches is all.”

“Are you having trouble hearing?” Jisoo pushed, scooting closer to him on the seat. “This might be really serious. You can’t just neglect it-”

“I’m not neglecting it-” Minghao interjected. “It’ll go away… at some point.”

Jisoo didn’t seem convinced. “You look tired. Let’s...get through this performance, and then you really need to see a doctor. I know the staff said you were fine, but with how you’ve been acting, I’m worried.”

Minghao looked at Jisoo, his eyelids heavy and head aching. He was tired of pretending like everything was fine, even with something like the pain in the side of his head, because he knew he messed up yesterday’s performance, and his brain was so exhausted from ridiculing every little mistake he made the day before. It was cruel of him to do to himself, he knew, but he couldn’t stop it. He knew something was wrong with the ear-piece. If he had just said something, this all could have been avoided and his hyungs wouldn’t be so worried. 

“I’m sorry,” Minghao muttered. “I don’t want to be a burden on anybody.”

Jisoo, visibly surprised at his answer, sat up, eyes wide and features crestfallen. “What? Minghao- you’re not a burden on anybody. What are you talking about?”

“I messed up the dance yesterday, and now everybody’s stressed-”

Jisoo place his hand on Minghao’s arm. “Hey, don’t do that. We all make mistakes,” he said. “It’s not at all your fault with what happened to the ear-piece. Any one of us would be just as upset by what happened.”

Before Minghao could say anything, Jisoo continued. “We all have our limits, Minghao. You don’t have to hide anything from us.”

“...Thanks, hyung,” Minghao mumbled, hanging his head.  
“Now tell me honestly,” Jisoo started. “How much pain are you in?”

Minghao took a shaky breath. He knew it wouldn’t do him any more good if he kept lying, and he wasn’t sure he could stay upright for another minute. “My ear’s been in bad shape since last night. Keeps throbbing, and my head hurts. I kinda...everything on that side sounds like it’s underwater.”

“I’m not an ear expert,” he said. “But that doesn’t sound good. We should talk to the staff about getting you into emergency care. This could be really bad, Minghao.”

Minghao shook his head in desperate protest. “No, we have a live to do.” 

“The live can wait a minute,” Jisoo argued. “We need to make sure you’re okay first.” 

Suddenly, with Jisoo’s hand reassuringly squeezing his upper arm, realized that it was okay to confide in his brothers, even for something so small and insignificant. There was heaviness on all of the members’ backs, weights that hurt each of them differently, and sometimes it was best to let the others take small bits of that weight. It made the pain on Minghao’s chest significantly lighter, and that evening, sitting in a private clinic waiting room with Jeonghan and Jisoo at his side, he felt comforted. 

His ear damage and hearing loss were only temporary, thank god, and with a prescription of antibiotics and ear drops, the painful ringing subsided over the last week of shows. Using in-ears over and over again hindered his healing, but with each day that passed and each stage they completed successfully, Minghao knew he was one day closer to the weekend of relaxation that all thirteen of them deserved..


End file.
